Boy Mom

Dear Atom,

When your dad and I found out we were pregnant, I vividly remember that the first thing I did was close my eyes, prayed to God, and wished for a boy.

Going through all the pregnancy challenges the second time around felt more chill, probably because I’ve gone through all the feelings before–the sukafest, the headaches, backaches, all other inconveniences in between–but it wasn’t easy still, because during the time I was carrying you, we were also in the process of building our business as if we were also giving birth to something that will shape us in the coming years.

From interviewing, hiring, and training employees, driving your Manang Kelly to school, to setting up our first physical office in BGC, you were growing inside me. In a way, it feels like Upside is your twin brother. There was so much going on in our lives at that time and I really tried to squeeze in as much as I could before you came out; as if giving myself a deadline, probably because I knew things will never be the same again. Little did I know that the changes I was looking forward to were just a speck of dust compared to the pandemic that was about to come.

When you finally came out on the 21st of January 2020, I wasn’t ready, to be honest. All I knew was that I just have to wing it, to take it easy, one day at a time. I was a wreck a week before you came out–overwhelmed with so many responsibilities and not having the mental and physical capacity to fix everything before your arrival. But by the grace of God and the help of our family and friends, we made it through. Your birth gave new meaning to my life as mom, a reminder that I am strong and capable and worthy, and the imperfections make it more real.

Your first year flew by with you spending the whole year at home because of COVID-19. The only time you went out was for vaccination trips to your pediatrician; which you dreaded the most. I often wonder if you’re happy, given the kind of jail-like routine you got accustomed to. Deep in my heart, I yearned for the childhood you lost: the outdoor play, the family get togethers, the Sundays with Lolo and Lola, the trips to the toy store, and all the fun family activities. I guess it is true that ignorance is bliss–you never knew what you were missing. As long as our family is healthy, we are okay.

Fast forward to today, you’re now in your terrible terrific twos and I am beyond happy that your dad and I took the leap and relocated to the south on a whim. It was mainly for you and your Manang, because you deserve the best things in life–fresh air, surrounded by greens and wide open spaces where you can finally run wild and free.

You deserve all the best things in the world, anak. Continue to be the boy with the sweetest smile, the funniest dramatic tantrums, and the ball of energy that never seems to wane. You’re definitely everything we wished for and more.

Love always,

Mama